Cierpienie jest przemijającą próbą zesłaną przez Boga, który wynagradza je tym większą pomyślnością. Problem w tym, że cierpiąc trudno jest odczytać zamysły Boga. Każdy cierpiący zadaje podobne pytania: “kiedy skończy się udręka”. Wiele jest tekstów w Piśmie Świętym (Księga Hioba, Tobiasza) mówiących o Opatrzności Bożej. Rozwiązanie jest zawsze po myśli Stwórcy. Jak się nie polepszy, to w ostateczności śmierć przynosi ulgę. Tymi słowami zachowuję się jak mieszkańcy Betulii. Ukrywam w nich żal i pretensję do Boga. Może wielu tak myśli, patrząc tylko ze swojej perspektywy wygodnego życia: “Jak będę miał życie w miarę spokojne to będę postępował etycznie”.
Ja doświadczając namacalnie zubożenie i utratę zdrowia szukam sensu zamysłu Bożego. Bywa różnie, bo dotykają mnie słabości ducha, ale niekiedy dostrzegam, że obecne moje życie nabrało rumieńców, ożywiło się, stało się walką o przetrwanie. Zadaję sobie pytanie: “Uda mi się przezwyciężyć trudności czy poddać się”. To nic, że nie jestem właścicielem domu, że nie mam zegarka, a 19 letni samochód już sprzedałem. Poznam życie zwyczajnych ludzi, którzy codziennie korzystają w miejskiego transportu. Potrzebny czas można odczytać w komórce. Życie skromne jest zdrowsze. Czas uprzyjemniam sobie angażując wyobraźnię. Jej nie brakuje, a daje olbrzymie możliwości. Wyostrzam wzrok aby dojrzeć otaczające mnie piękno przyrody. Konieczność pracy zmusza mnie do dyscypliny utrzymania zdrowia. Na szczęście już nie palę (nie ukrywam, że lubiłem sobie puszczać dymek – adiafora, czyn moralnie obojętny). Rozmyślanie o przyczynach kłopotów zamknąłem jednym momencie, w październiku poprzedniego roku. Ten zabieg nie pozwala mi mieć do nikogo pretensji. Stało się i basta. Otrzymałem nową rolę w theatrum życia.
I wszystko byłoby piękne, gdyby chodziło tylko o mnie. O innych (mam na myśli żonę i dzieci) pozostała mi tylko modlitwa. Mam nadzieję, że Bóg okaże się dla nich łaskawy.
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